Just checking in

I thought I had some things to say but I don't.

I was pissed last night and ranted and raved on here. Kinda funny now.

Seems as though B has disappeared. Breaks my heart.

I've become a pot head. I want to smoke right now, but my Dad might be calling me so I dont want to be all stupid on the phone. But the urge might get the best of me. Lets see how long I can keep myself entertained till I give up and go do it. T is suppose to have another bag for me tonight. I need it. I dont have much left.
I like getting high bc I dont care as much as when I'm not, like I am prone to be more bothered by certain things. Things just seem like they make better sense too as well as they seem more concrete. Things are obviously more humorous but I dont think all this is really going to make sense to anyone besides me. So I am a doper. I couldnt keep my hands off it. You should watch 'Being Bobby Brown. Its mildly entertaining.

Well I am not going to feel so bad. A lot of people smoke. I'm just kinda aware of it bc I havent liked to smoke in a while.

So anyways. On to more important things.
I think my Mom is depressed. I wish there was something I can do but theres not right now.

Ok here something worth writing about.
I got into a fight w/B bc of this drama that is honestly no concern of ours. But we had different opinions and we clashed. But I am glad now that I stuck my ground and wanted to 'wait it out' bc since I did yesterday was exactly what I needed. Confirmation that particular people in my life were no good except to cause drama, at least as of now. Had I not allowed myself to see this I may have questioned myself later. I got to see it in other parts of my week as well but yesterday really nailed the situation. There is nothing left to question in my head.

Sometimes in certain situations its better to move yourself out of the situation quietly rather then make a big stink on the way out. It's passive but it maybe best. If i threw a stink these girls might cause more stir up and try to suck me back in or it might cause people to hate each other and to do cruel things to each other. Neither of those are good. And maybe when things cool down I will think differently or perhaps we are just going in our own directions. I've known to do this. Meet up w/ old friends and then we will just fall into these breaks where we dont talk very often and we all do our own thing. Hang out with other/new friends.

I hate it that B & I are so distant, or that he is so distant with me. It really makes me feel like shit inside. But there is nothing for me to do.

So thats whats going on with me
I need to enjoy my time off bc very soon my schedule is going to hectic. I wish I had some prjects to do. But I dont so I guess I'll go watch some TV.
Adios for now.