Its flippen Monday.
But I had a relaxing weekend and spent some time with Blake. It was nice and I think I reallly needed it. I don't know whats wrong with me or what but I feel really cold inside. And I feel kinda isolated and alone. Half the time I have no desire to reach out and change that. Sometimes I do and sometimes I dont and its a bad feeling to have. I cant help it sometimes. Its not quite bitter but I think I am just been so stressed and I feel like I am on a impossible path completely alone and maybe its for me to complete totally alone I am not sure. but in some ways I wish someone would be there for me if I fall. I have no safe net. one slip up i could ruin everything and thats hard for me to do bc I am so cautious. I have screwed up enough times I dont want to screw up again.
So the weekend was good though. B also met my Dad yesterday and that was cool. My Dad has never liked any of the people I brought around and this time it went well. So that is good.
My mother and I were able to finish up the FASFA and we submitted it. So that is cool and we will see how much money I will get for school. I think i kind of decided to go to South Mountain but there are a few things I want to clear up with b still since its near his house and not my own. I guess I should handle that soon. But then again maybe i wont, I'll just wait and see how things work out.
I need to find and part time job quickly!
6/20/05 It's Monday :(
Monday, June 20, 2005 at 9:07 AM
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1 comments:
Monday, June 20, 2005 at 11:35:00 AM PDT
I so understand the empty feeling inside, and I'm sure it's from stress that and just not laughing enough... That's always what's wrong with me when I feel like that. No matter how many good things even may be going on, you can still get that feeling if you're stressed out, and not laughing enough, i really believe that about the laughing... Maybe you need to change some things in your life though, that could be it.... or maybe it's a part of just being an adult, we both may not be quite used to yet. Laughing cures almost anything I find though... especially that empty feeling, or a good long cry, followed by laughing just to get it all out, ya know... I'm just throwing some ideas out there.
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