I am alive!

And doing OK.

I am broke as a joke but hey, it could be worse. But I am poorer than I have been in YEARS. But at least I have a job. It will get better.

I got a new job and I think this place will do me better than the last restraunt did. I will actually make money! The last place I worked at was a complete joke and I am surprised that I stayed there as long as I did. The most I ever made was $50 a shift. This new place has a different pay scale since I do more then just serve so I make a higher hourly during parts of my shift and then still get tips.

School is going well. Almost done w/ this semester. Can you believe it?
I already enrolled in my classes for next semester, except one class. Havent decided yet... thinking an online class though.

Besides that, I havent had a whole lot of free time. Been hanging w/ Blake a good amount on my free time and then fam and friends.

Still trying to find my place or my nitch in life. Dont feel very placed in it right now but I am starting to think that is normal and that everyone is feeling like that too. Or at least the people I seem to be in contact with. Somtimes it can be a little straining bc I find that people like to talk to me a lot about what they are doing, how they are trying to find themselves, and where they are and who they are. It can be a little draining bc I am too trying to figure that out myself & my life so hearing it constantly is draining like I said. So I have been a little off in my own world. I think its almost time to resurface or something of that nature.

Also this has been the most recklace year of my life as far as being stable and having a job is concerned. So much has changed. Its nuts. But at the end of the day I am still pretty much myself and have the people that I think that really matter.

So with that I think that I will end this post. More bc I have to go pee and take my afternoon nap that I have been going with out for a bit.

:)

Gosh its been a long time

And I have no excuses except that blogging was just not a priority.

Just doing school and work.

School is kinda losing my interest and its sad bc I didnt want it to. But oh well. I'm sure I'll be fine.

Work has been slow and not making enough to make my bills. I'll be fine this month but I really need to figure something out quick bc I wont be next month.
:(

Besides that I guess I have been around. Been seeing B again and its funny that i am posting tonight bc its the first time in a while that we are at odds w/ each other. It sucks and I hate it.

I reall want to get out of town for a while. Go and experience something new. I hate Arizona and I really just dont want to be here anymore. But it sucks that I took out student loans and whatever, i feel stuck. If I moved out of state then I would have to pay out of state tution and that WAY expensive. And if I moved and didnt go to school then I would have to start paying off the loan I already took out. SHEESH. I guess its not that bad. But it sucks. I'm just burnt out on AZ. I just dont find the people all that interesting anymore. Tonight was an ugly reminder of how much I hate fighting with B and how much it can hurt. Its not that I dont want him, but at the same time I dont like having my heart out on the line for him to smash whether he means to or not. Bc its happens to me and of course everyone else.

Ahhh life used to be so much more simple. I miss that sooo much.

But family is good. Thats cool. Well except my sister isnt talking to any of us right now. Thats kinda of a bummers. But I dont think I did anything wrong.

Ahh, writing all this is bothering me so i am going to stop.

I have been in a funk the last 2 days and I just dont like who I am right now.

In Class at the moment

but I am promising to write later!

I need a new job too!

Hey hey hey, it's Saturday

I've been a little busy bee past week or so. Juggling school and work takes a lot of time. Barely even see my family. I get some down time during the day between school and work, but I usually do HW and then take a nap so that I am not dragging ass and bc I am lazy.

Last weekend was not much of one bc I worked a bunch. But, I went to the casino w/ B and we saw 'Showstoppers Live!'. To wrap up that fun outing we went, the performances were good. We drank too much. B decided in a drunken stupor that he was going to blurt out random shit at the stand up comedian. The stand up then started to crack jokes about us 'needing another' cocktail and how B was going to get an earful from me 'remember that one time at the casino' type shit. I thought it was funny, the rest of the audience thought so too. But it took it's toll on B, so after a few he stood up and announced our departure. On the way out we got an applaud and then security found us in the casino and helped us to the door.

Fun times.

Then the week started. I didn't feel up to par the next day (monday).

Went through the week.

Had lunch with Yasmin on fri. And then last night I went out with some guys from work. I got off went to go get beer, and then went to the bar that I worked at and our bartender got me wasted bf I even went out with my co-workers. Fun times being that wasted. So at about 1:30 I got taken back to my car by my ride and then drunk dialed Jeff and he is in town and went to his house. I made him take me to Taco Bell and then after I ate I felt much better. I have to go into work in a few and am hoping that I was not too wasted and made an ass out of myself.

I ended up in my own bed at about 4:30a where I passed out and didnt wake up till 12:45. I am soo happy that actually slept bc I remember waking up and seeing that it was 8:45a and I knew I was in no condition to move yet. I have a habbit now of waking up way too early and it doesnt work bc I stay up soo late bc of work and being so wound up.

Heh.

Tonight I am not sure what I am going to do after work. Maybe hang out w/ Jeff or another friend. It kinda sucks bc I only have one girlfriend and I wish I had more here in Az. The few friends I have are guys, not a bad thing, but it would be nice to have some girlies around. Guys are great and less drama, but having all guys to call is not always cool.

I had some tentative plans to hang out with B tomorrow, but I don't think that is going to happen. Oh well. We will see what happens. Oh and it's going to be halloween soon! My fav holiday! I am not sure if I am going to buy a new costume or just wear the one from last year. My one from last year was soo hot! oh baby! I cant believe that its almost been a year since last halloween. So crazy. Life does fly bye!