And I have no excuses except that blogging was just not a priority.
Just doing school and work.
School is kinda losing my interest and its sad bc I didnt want it to. But oh well. I'm sure I'll be fine.
Work has been slow and not making enough to make my bills. I'll be fine this month but I really need to figure something out quick bc I wont be next month.
:(
Besides that I guess I have been around. Been seeing B again and its funny that i am posting tonight bc its the first time in a while that we are at odds w/ each other. It sucks and I hate it.
I reall want to get out of town for a while. Go and experience something new. I hate Arizona and I really just dont want to be here anymore. But it sucks that I took out student loans and whatever, i feel stuck. If I moved out of state then I would have to pay out of state tution and that WAY expensive. And if I moved and didnt go to school then I would have to start paying off the loan I already took out. SHEESH. I guess its not that bad. But it sucks. I'm just burnt out on AZ. I just dont find the people all that interesting anymore. Tonight was an ugly reminder of how much I hate fighting with B and how much it can hurt. Its not that I dont want him, but at the same time I dont like having my heart out on the line for him to smash whether he means to or not. Bc its happens to me and of course everyone else.
Ahhh life used to be so much more simple. I miss that sooo much.
But family is good. Thats cool. Well except my sister isnt talking to any of us right now. Thats kinda of a bummers. But I dont think I did anything wrong.
Ahh, writing all this is bothering me so i am going to stop.
I have been in a funk the last 2 days and I just dont like who I am right now.
Gosh its been a long time
Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 8:08 PM
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5 comments:
Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 10:08:00 PM PDT
not to find happy in your misery, but it's good to be reminded that the grass isn't greener...or that cacti are better.
new mexico revived me; j'adore the desert. makes me want to pack up and m.o.v.e. there.
maybe it's just wanderlust?
hope you get a weekend away, luv.
Friday, October 14, 2005 at 2:00:00 PM PDT
Sorry you are in a bit of a funk. Sounds like my post on "Letting Go" might be helpful to you, or not - who knows. It's just about dealing with that whole "broken heart" crap that is oh so much fun. Sorry I closed the comment section on that post. Some people were getting "kind of ugly" if I can call it that with some of their remarks so I didn't want to deal with hearing it and just closed it. Anyways, good luck with the money situation, job, school, boyfriend and all that other stuff. If you want to check that post out, here is the link...
http://diamondktblog.blogspot.com/2005/10/letting-go-anyone-remember-movie-meet.html
Hang in their Rachael.
Monday, October 17, 2005 at 7:48:00 AM PDT
Fighting is never fun... I have been on vacation for a little while, you should drop by my blog and see the amazing pics I got.... :-D
Monday, October 17, 2005 at 8:27:00 AM PDT
tsk, tsk, tsk.
Fix that man now!
Good luck1
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 at 6:01:00 AM PDT
I think there is some famous quote somewhere that says 'This to shall pass', it doesn't help now but it's true, and it will only make the good time feel even better. Hang in there Rachael. Try to focus on the little bit of good.
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