6/27/05 As Always...

I have something to say.

Friends:

Sometimes I'd rather be alone then be surrounded by bull shit. I am OK with who I am. If someone isnt than grow some balls and take a hike. I dont need anything from anyone. Nothing. No one. In one year of school I will be a LPN making $25+ an hour. I could give a shit if I sat home alone everynight for that year & had no one bc I hate liars and back stabbers. I know no one is perfect. But before I am going to cast stones I am going to look at a situation from every angle. Time will eventually allow the missing puzzle pieces to find their place. And then any fakes will be disposed of. But I am also not one to kick another person when they are down, i'll just simply walk away. Till then I will keep doing whats best for me and thats to go to work and school and get my HW done so I dont have to worry about money or where I am at in life EVER EVER again. I am not going to be fazed by drama bc my real goal in life is to get through school and thats my focus. I am a good person and deserve to share my life and whatever else I have with other good people. I'm good at keeping people at arms distance so I am not so worried about losing anything of any value. There are very few people that I would ever show my full hand of cards. Very few. You never let anyone know how much you know. Maybe I havent learned much but I've learned that much so far. It's only me against the world and thats how I live. I take my loved ones in consideration dont get me wrong bc when you are in my heart you are IN THERE DEEP but I can only be me and only rely on myself bc no one is perfect not or you and if I relied on others I would just constantly be let down. I dont like that.

I was going to write more, but I just got invited out, so I am going to go get a little intoxicated.

Oh and by the way I LOVE my new job, My new boss isnt as young as I thought. Shes 37! And my gosh she is Fing hot -she looks 24. I swear, when she told me she had been married for 18 yrs my mouth dropped. We are already kinda good friends -swapping secrets & stuff. We are going to have happy hours and there is a gym on site that i can use for free and plus a HUGE kitchen that is stocked w/ food and my boss will just go in there make huge meals (that what she said anyway). We sat there for 2 hours just shooting the shit after she showed me a few things, and we work w/ a bunch of old rich guys that were trying to get us to go to the sand bar 4 happy hour in scottsdale, but she couldnt and i wasnt going w/o her so I opted out. But anyways I love it there already and I think that my life is really going in upward direction and I feel at peace w/ myself bc I think i am making the right choices. It feels so good. I cant describe it any other way. I am happy w/ myself right now.