Finally intrigued to write

It's been a bit.

I have had such an interesting night.

Life or something like it.

Tonight started off by going to a bar/lounge where a fellow blogger works and meeting her. She was cool & her bar was very interesting. I would like to go back on maybe on a less busier night or at least earlier to get a good seat. Yaz and I sat at the bar and had some shooters and cocktails. There was a a guy that was sitting next to me either really wasted or really weird. He kept on asking me what time it was, like in 1o-15 min increments. Then said that he had just came from Tuscon - randomly. Made no sense to me. Then he repeatedly apologized for bothering me. Finally after being annoyed with him I kinda waved him off, literally. A couple min later he leaned in and told me I 'would never know what it was like to lose someone' and then leaned into me and said it again, and then added I 'would never know what it would be like to lose someone till I lost a brother'. I got up and left. He was tall, thin, and had bushy/wavy long dark brown hair. Kinda of hippish. Very weird. But the bar was really cool. Love to go back and not get stuck w/ a random drunk.

So Yaz and I left. We then went to a bar in another city called Casey Moores where we met photographers and camera men from a local news channel here in Az. Thats was fairly interesting. They have a lot of information thats not highly known or reported by the news. And then they got wasted and one started going on and on about his life, about how he was going to be 30 soon and all he had concentrated on in life was his career and now he is missing parts of his life. I would try and converse back with him but he was too far gone into himself and what he was doing. I would say something to further the conversation and he would sort of nod and then go back into la la land. It was as if he didnt even hear me.

Typical drunk men so far. I am not sure what is worse, dumb drunk girls or dumb drunk men wallowing about the road of life, what was, and what they lack.

Yaz and I also met a Katrina victem that moved to Az. He left New Olreans, went to another suburb outside of there, then went to Atlanta to see his parents and then came to Az. He is currently living with a family he doesnt know and all he kept saying was that he felt homeless. Had nothing of his belonging bc they were all pretty much scattered w/ fam and friends across the US. He is a boy that has nothing and yet everything w/ a promising future. He has really done well for himself education wise. He is a lawyer with a lot of potential to do well for himself if he can get back on feet and get a job here.

I can't really imagine what it is like for him right now. To have a home that was ruined, friends and fam scattered and not a pot of his own to piss in. Very sad, however I do believe that he will do well for himself and go far if he has the will power to do so.

~~~

About me.

Tonight was interesting bc I saw so many different types of life. Life is so very much interesting.

I think I am having to finish this post later bc I am tired and well cnat write anymore.

But I will say I am not a good heart breaker. And its always so typical that the person that loves me in that special way i dont love back like that, and the person that i love in that special way probably loves me too, but is & 'its' too complicated to even really explain. I dont want anyone to have any expectations of me bc I have no idea what is going on with me. My life has really just done a 180 for the better. Everything has changed but a few things. New type of job, friends, lack of BF and most important school. I am still trying to sort out myself and my life. It's too hard to really put any effort into things that werent there before all this happened. Even things that were there bf that were semi important I just cant deal with right now. I can only handle a few things at a time. I feel a lot of pressure from a lot of different angles and its weird bc i feel like i cant organize it all so that it is clear. I have thrown in the towel on a few things like friendships and otherwise. I am also just busy and not busy all at the same time. Timing is everything. Everything is complicated, confusing and something else that I cant seem to put into words.

I really didnt want to sleep alone tonight and here I am going to bed alone and I think somehow its for the better. Just dont know how. I guess I wouldnt have written this post if things had worked out differently.

Random and probably hard to understand, but that is the best I can do for now. Good night.