re: Adjusting

My friend has a blog and today I checked it and I found something that I didnt like so i wrote back to her and added my 2 cents to some of things that she said. Read below are parts of her post and then the bold is parts of what I wrote back to her..

Adjusting
I am slowly adjusting to being back in AZ, but that doesn't mean I am having a good time doing it. The past few days have been interesting to say the least. Let's see where do I start?
'...It seems as though the people that I have seen and that are happy are the ones that I enjoy being around...'

Wow yasmin. Seems like you are really 'understanding'. As much as you think whatever about me and my situation I actually have been just fine. I know whats on my plate and its great. Its mind over matter. Which I decided sun/mon that I was not going to be sad about anything. I had a bad first day or so but what could anyone expect? I dont think its even been an issue bc I havent laid anything on you at all. You called 1x when I was upset on Saturday and I got off the phone. Thats it. I have been hanging out with my family and having a good time w/ them. I have not been avoiding you to hang bc i am at home depressed. Its bc i am at home enjoying the people that matter most, my family. And I'm sorry but I am not going to chase you around. You want to hang out I'm sure you will call.

It's funny coming back to a life that you had almost forgotten about. My time in Australia was so stress free and I had little obligation to anyone. I really enjoyed that, but being back home I come to realize that there are a few people who let me off the hook fore the past 6 months because I was in Australia and now they are ready to expect things from me.

I dont think anyone expects much besides friendship. Not everyone sat with you in those counseling meetings. I did and I try to understand and its still hard. I think you are seeing all these things you havent seen in a long time and its foriegn to you. So therefor its off balance from what you are used to. Also letting you off the hook? I think that people probably had better things to do than to track your ass down when you are in another country. Just like your life went on so did life in America. Life has not frozen, you arent going back in time by being here. People went to bed and woke up every day and experienced life just like you did. I think that everyone has had oppertunity to change, learn and grow just like you. Only difference is you were in a whole new culture..

I wish that I could figure out a better way to describe this feeling, but it's hard. I think that the best way for everyone to deal with me right now is to not expect much from me. Especially things that you once did expect because in a way I am a very different person these days.

You may want to be careful with this. I know you think you have it all figured out right now but there might be a time when you think that you may want to be friends w/ people again. You have lived out of the country for 6mos, and if you are still so distant you might loose friends or closeness that you later might want again w/ certain people.

I am not saying I will not be your friend and be by your side, but in some ways I refuse to be treated as I once let people treat me.

Not even sure where this directed. But I dont think anyone treated you badly except you know who. You have always been a head strong, dominent, bossy person and I seriously doubt you let yourself be walked on. But whatever you want to think go ahead. I wont stop you.

Oh yeah and please lay off the guilt trips. You never called enough or write enough. . well get over it I was busy. I refuse to feel guilty when life is always a 2 way street. People could have called me or written to me more. I know I wasn't the best at always responding, but remember I had another life. Yeah complete with a group of friends, family, school, and a home. I had things that were more important that sitting at a computer talking to people. You know like real human interaction. Well enough with all that, let me get to the good stuff.

Everyone else had lives that went on well after you left. People were busy too. But the difference is that myself and whoever else made time to sit down and write to you, get calling cards, and pay money to keep in contact whatever it was that they did. I know you did to a point with me, but I also know that you were unavailable at times as well. I know there were many times that I didnt email you or call you bc I was wrapped up in my life here and then it would come to me that I hadnt made an effort in a while or even read your blog bc life goes on with or with out you. So to say that you were busy makes you look kinda like an ass bc so was everyone else. I know I was.

I dont think people are meaning to make you feel bad. I def have not and dont care too. You were gone for so long. I can continue to live and love my life as if you were still gone. Which in a way you are bc you seem like you are trying to recreate your life in australia here. Good or bad it is what it is. I'm all for you to bring the good things back. But dont let it consume your life as if it was total crap bf you left. Its mind over matter. And if you want to think that your life was crap then fine go right ahead bc your life would have been crap in Australia sooner or later too, as well as it will follow you where ever you go. I respect it that you have so much love for your life there. Now its time to love & live your life here. You have no other option. And if you think your life wont change again you are wrong. Your friends from there will go back to their lives in flag and wherever. I am sure you will all be friends but they had lives bf and I am sure they are going to get back in the groove of things as you are too. Not that you will forget about each other or anything like that you will always be close to the people that you went through that with but at the same time dont replace what you had. I think you should make room for both, you will come around get more used to it here.

One thing that I really miss about Australia is that during the whole time I was there every time that I went out drinking I never woke up the next day worrying about what I had said. For some reason I always knew whatever happened was cool. I think there have been 2 nights out of my 7 nights that I have woken up and kinda knew I had said/done something that I shouldn't have. Oh well, not that it matters I guess it is better to be honest and let people know how I stand with them and where I would like to stand. In other news. . .

Maybe its best if you just keep things to yourself until you have had some time to really form thoughts and opinions that are going to stick around. You just got back and you are far from being completely readjusted. So till you have everything in your head straight and relaxed dont cause issues and drama bc you think this way and whatever bc you will level out. You went from one extreme to another you will eventually fall back on to some middle ground.