I'm a bad bad girl

And I am too scared to tell the world on my blog why that is....

So I guess we will just move away from that, but its been on my mind a bit.

So I have a lot of thoughts going through the ole noggin as usual. I will probably only scratch the surface in this here blog. As with everyone else I am still here trying to figure everything out. But then life is not meant to be figured out ya know?
It's always like... if I knew then, what I know now...
But you never know till you get through it.

Just got done reading Numb ~t's blog (she's linked if you want something to read besides this rubbish) and I read her post about her 'lovie' that is far away and her kinda letting that go. My heart went out to her and those times when you have a heavy chest and want to spring a tear bc what is gone is gone. We all have them. It's odd how we are so alike deep down in the root of things. It reminds me of things that are still tough for me to really think about. I have split personalities in that I can get really deep and philosophical and then I can just be cold and not give a shit. Or its in between.

I think it's good to get those things out to people that really care for you or whatever. But its always like even when you have a really uplifting conversation after you hang up the phone or go home those bad feelings come right back. Thats probably why I always curl up in a ball and dont go out when I am upset. But thats probably not the right way to do things. It's better to stay busy, but then you (or I) make time in the car or when no one is watching to stare off and dive into my own thoughts.

There is truly a thin line between love and hate.

And you usually find it easier to hate the people you love.

But anyways, school has been OK, work has been OK, family is good I guess, and friends are OK. I am thankful for the people I think that really do care for me. Wish I could shrink them and put them in my purse so that whenever I wanted I could bring them out to play :)

But anyways, no new exciting details to really go in to. As always everything seems so trivial and like nonsense to post about.

If Yasmin still reads these she really needs to update her BLOG! I always think to tell you but then I never think about it unless I am in front of the puter.

I most def need a vaca. I wish I wasnt a poor college student. Wish there was a fast forward button on life. Think I would fast foward maybe like 3 yrs. ahhh, ok I wish I had more to say.

Nighty nighty.
.....alone :(