Family fight and going away

Ms Lonely
Have you heard that Akon song?
Well I'm Ms Lonely. Nice to meet you.

SO...
OK well tonight was a bad one. I got into a fight w/ my family. My sister who I have been getting along with really well tried to do a power trip on me. I was in a small spat between and myself & my younger brother. I have a loud mouth so I actually had both of my siblings yelling at me and I was not taking it lightly. I was telling my sister to go stick her nose in her own business and to keep out of mine and I mimicking what she was saying and man I was really ticked. And then my Mom comes out and just then I yell 'I don't care if you all hate me!' and everyone dispersed cause Momma bear was there. I really don't care if they did all hate me, I am so angry right now I don't care. I'm sure I will tomorrow or a feel days but I am sick og them right now.
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So I've been thinking. If I don't get all the paper work down w/ school I think I might go work full time again and save to go and study abroad or do volunteer work. I've always wanted too & my life had always been in my way. The first time my car got stolen, 2nd time B didn't want me to and I didn't want to leave what I had here.

Now I am not as happy as I could be. I have fewer friends, a boyfriend that is unavailable & not heavily in the picture. Will he be again? I've been hoping but you never know. Time will tell all. And finally my family and I aren't getting along. Today was bad but I don't think I could be happy. I def don't think I could go to school and live here. It would be a stress. I would have so much to do before I could really leave. It would take a bit to even get out of here.

I guess what sparked the thought about volunteering again was the elephant program I watched tonight. The one about how they were they striking back, well anyways I've always liked elephants bc they are so smart & social. And I have always wanted to live near wild animals and do research and be able to interact with them on some level. Alternative to that would be to rehabilitate them or provide a communion or retirement center for abused wild animals that cant go back into the wild can come live. Or all of the above.

That's my dream. The field is competitive. And it would require me to go to school but its such a far out of reach I never really considered doing it bc it wasn't practical. What's pratical is going to nursing school and make good/above average income and live happily ever after. Or get a business degree, or something, anything that is structured, the failure rate is low, and income is good.

That's life and how's its broke down to me. Is that happiness? I don't know. I think I could make myself happy on some level anywhere as far as college level jobs given the atmosphere. But whatever these are rambles bc I am upset. But seriously I will not allow myself to spend my entire life in AZ. There is more out there to explore. I would like to live in the south somewhere at least a short time just to see what its like.