Memories & Predictive Index

OK I am a blogger nerd.

Oh chances are that my theory is coming to life. I knew they would get back together. Just wait and watch, something interesting will come about.

But what I was actually going to post about it is memories. I've been doing way to much thinking. IE why I am probably writing so much. Reflecting on a lot of different things.

The other night I was hanging out with my sister and I made the comment that as much as C and I put each other through, I had a hard time remembering him, the reasons why I liked him, our fights, events, etc. Then I let my my mind wander over the friends I shared with him and the experiences that he wasn't apart of and everything is kinda out of reach for my memory.

My sister replied "welcome to getting old".

It kinda struck me. In just a few years my life now is going to be some type of blur. The people I now know and maybe even B are just poof gone. Of course I don't want that. I love B but it could happen. I could be just a memory to him. He could be just a memory to me. Taking different paths through life. And this hard time will be a hardly noticeable bump in the great road of my life. That is so sad to me in some ways. This moment feels more real than any other moment that has passed bc its right now and its not all blurred into nothingness and history.

I like to read what I wrote last year. I like to read things I wrote when I was mad people or myself. Or even my crazy ideas. Its great to see at that moment how I was thinking and what the outcome really was. How I was right, how I was wrong and how everything else played into the situation.

But most likely I wont remember much. And I thought I had a great memory. But nope. This moment right now will be like any moment spent typing away at my computer and there's nothing else to it. Maybe I am stoned. I probably am but to think how important everything feels right now is going only going to be text on my blog buried in the archives. But I guess at least I have it somewhere if not in my head.

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I took a personality test at work bc one of our tenants are from Predictive Index. Its a survey that analyzes your personality. Its suppose to be very accurate and a psych Dr came up with in 1955. Mine was on the money. Just a few things off.
-Independent, individualist, strong minded, & determined
-Venturesome, stick my neck out for my beliefs,
-problem solving & ventures are stimulating
-lots of confidence in my knowledge& ability
-active & inquiring mind, drive hard to get things done my way w/ quickness.
-self starter, initiates, makes decisions and assumes responsibility, stongly competive to achieve goals.
-Impatient
-W/ expressing myself I am direct, factual, outspoken, & frank
-My approach is authoritative, telling, & wanting timely results.
-I deal with ambiguous situations briskly and firmly
-I don't manage details as much as the big picture
-Fast learner!
-need independence to achieve max action
-variety & challenge in my work environment that also support new ideas
-open to opportunities for advancement to higher positions of decision-making responsibility
-not good with repetition & details -will become less accurate if made to handle

It also goes onto explain that right now I am trying to work the opposite role of my characteristics. Thus I am not my own boss or managing a territory any more, I am someone else's bitch and furthermore I am now a few peoples student.
I am also overly aware of myself and my surroundings.
I am also: intellectual, thoughtful, intense, informal, enjoys pressure, risk taker, strategic, quick to connect w/people, reads people, intiutitive, optimistic, enthusiastic, persuasive, informal, poised, good mixer, flexible, & casual.
Thats mostly me.
I like to have fun too.
OK nighty night