I feel as though I have less and less to write about

Or maybe my want to write is less and less.

Anyways. I have not been as active on my blog. Why? I don't know. I am not so overly busy all of sudden. I still sit at work bored out of little mind. I have started to read books again, not just others blogs, ha. But school has defiantly taken over. Its a constant thing in my head. I do like having the extra responsibility. My Soc/Psych class is my favorite so far. Good thing I want that part of my career focus. Psychiatric nurse practioner.

The focus of the class is how people act on there own and with in a social group. Today we went over how people are effected my their social group. The larger the group the bigger of a impact and what's that fing word!?! Damn it I cant remember it again! GEEZE! ....IT"S INFLUENCE, well anyways, the bigger the group the more greatly the single person will be INFLUENCED & conform to the groups ideals. Seems basic right? But it's important. How people act on there own VS how they act with in a group is sooo different.

Even people that try and 'rebel' against the mainstream ideals & fads and etc will end up joining sub groups that share the same morals, values, & lifestyle. Well, once settled in this sub group most start to become competitive with each other on who is the most rebellious. And again the cycle repeats itself. People will stretch to be the biggest and baddest and will lose why they joined the sub group in the first place and then yet another sub group is formed. It's always about rebelling and stretching the lifestyle to be the most unique.

Just like for an example the emo kids VS punks or metal heads. My little brother was all punk rock. Then all of sudden punk rock wasn't original anymore and punk 'sold out' according to him. So then he followed his social group and is now into heavy metal. Not like hard core, he looks fairly normal. But he claims metal. Well the metal and punk kids generally don't like each other. And now a new music scene is exploding -Emo. I'm not so sure what it is so much as the look where boys wear make up, thick black glasses w/o the need for them, and weird back hair w/ cuts where the the front of the hair is long and in the face and then the back is short.

Well metal and punk are similar and they don't like each other and now that emo is the new gig -everyone that is not emo hates emo kids. These kids generally like my little brother didn't feel they fit into the preppie or jock stereo type and so started off rebelling with being punk. That became so popular now with our culture that he has moved into metal. And now a different 'rebel' sub group is started and there is even competition over who is the biggest bad ass among the different groups.

Not only is there competition with in the sub groups as to who is more 'punk', with the most knowledge of underground music, who skates, whose hair is better or whatever. Same goes with 'metal' -who can head bang the best or mosh, and then 'Emo' who has the best decked out look with hair, glasses, and black eyeliner. But also the competition starts to thrive with these other sub groups whose 'scene' is better or badder.

Make sense? Am I doing Ok explaining?

Well anyways this class we are going to look at these type of things; the individual and the group.

I think this will be good for me. I too rebelled and had this whole get up with alternative hair, clothes, & attitude. Well for some reason around the age of 16 something about the way things socially didn't really appeal to me anymore bc we were just like the original group that I was trying to not be in - in the first place. And since then I have just been 'Rachael' and not stereo type myself into anything and just do things that feel good and comfy to me.

I have a hard time understanding people now bc I don't get why people are such in a craze to fit in, compete with one another, and these social conformities.

And it goes way beyond the just the music scene. I see this everywhere. If you don't follow the masses or the hurd you usually run into social conflicts.

I never got it. And always had my own opinion that eventually caused me some grief. People don't 'agree to disagree' very often and there is always some issue.

So anyways that is my class. Maybe a bit overexplained for you readers, but agh well.

If you are still reading at this point know that I may just go off like that again later down the road.

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About other things. Right now I feel kinda shitty. I am at some cross roads. Aren't I always? I wish god had a telephone and I could just buzz him and ask for advise. I like to hear opinions bc I think that maybe I will gain some knowledge and I am looking for some type of answer. Hopefully it will come to me soon.

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Other news....
I have none that I can think of.

So till I do; I hope all is well.